Glazed in a Darkened Room on Movies, DVDs and Films

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning" - Apocalypse Now

"What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?" - Full Metal Jacket

"I was planning to hit the Pentagon next week" - TRON

"As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll." - Spinal Tap

"What kind of man are you? I bring up comics and you're talking chicks and romance?" - Mallrats

"You know... the Nazis had pieces of flair. They made the Jews wear them" - Office Space

"Know your dope fiend! Your life may depend on it! You will not be able to see his eyes because of Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will be white from inner-tension and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim. He will stagger and babble when questioned. He will not respect your badge. The Dope Fiend fears nothing. He will attack, for no reason, with every weapon at his command - including yours. BEWARE. Any officer apprehending a suspected marijuana addict should use all necessary force immediately. One stitch in time (on him) will usually save nine on you." - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Superman versus Aliens (The Matrix Reloaded)

Ethan Switch - Friday, May 23, 2003

There is this Superman one shot—it might have been a miniseries—with Superman fighting back an Alien onslaught from the Aliens mythos. As a lot of others are saying, The Matrix Reloaded is the best Superman film ever.
Certain parts of the film were weighing up the scales with the at times extremely long dialogue or explanations concerning the concepts and ideas based around philosophy which in turn are the basis for The Matrix itself. An extensive application of the heavy laden scripting occurs when Neo (Keanu Reeves) engages with a character calling himself The Architect (Helmut Bakaitis) to discuss and dissect the nature of the Matrix itself. In the first, Mouse (Matt Doran) contemplates the reasoning behind how strange or different meat often defaults to the simple taste of chicken. "How are we to know what chicken really tastes like and what if the makers of the program got it wrong and thus why everything tastes like chicken?" Or words to that effect. As The Architect resembles a younger version of Colonel Sanders there's reason to believe that it could be some kind of joke on the whole premise.

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Bamf! Snikt! Unnnggghhh! (X-Men 2 / X2: X-Men United)

Ethan Switch - Friday, May 2, 2003

In X-Men 2 onomatopoeic mutations finally get the work out they deserved in the first film. Most notable of all would have to be the contribution from Kurt "Nightcrawler" Wagner (Alan Cumming) kicking off the festivities by bamfing in and out of the walls and ceilings of the White House as he undergoes what is a rather uncharacteristic attack on the President. Bamfing all about the Oval Office Nightcrawler puts the mutant fear into the President and the Secret Service and sets things up for the entire movie.
On the other end of the sound stage is Logan aka Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) who finally gets to go berserker and manages to notch himself a few dead bodies in the manic process of defending the mansion from an ambush of nefarious unseen political moves set in motion by a gruff and evil William Stryker (Brian Cox).

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For All the Scars and Painkillers in the World (Daredevil)

Ethan Switch - Thursday, March 20, 2003

Alterations to a super hero's costume are often made when the star inside the suit needs to be somewhat recognizable to the audience. The Tick is a prime hatchet of this, rubber-chinned in the animated series and comics, yet fully fleshed out for Patrick Warburton in the seriously dumbed up live-action version. While the world pretty much knows the look of Spider-Man's outfit without having ever read the comic, the same can't be said for those who know about Daredevil.
It's more likely that the only ones who are aware that Daredevil exists for something other than stunts over a ravine are the kind to spot a continuity mistake from three panels beyond. But despite this fact, if a motorcycle body suit ever had sex with the Devil himself they might have given birth to a child in the form of the costume donned by Ben Affleck in the above film.

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The Ring

Jimmy Weasel - Sunday, November 17, 2002

Initially, I was expecting this film to be a little X-Files; investigate a mystery and see what's killing the kids. A few minutes in, I likened it more to Denzel's Fallen; the investigator(s) had to unravel the mystery or they themselves would surely perish.
About ten minutes after this realised it was one of the scariest films I've seen in a while; not 'teen-slasher' scary, but more of a Kubrik/Lynch scary.

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it makes children detonate explosives... that's why flies carry communications from outer space

Belvedere Jehosophat - Thursday, October 24, 2002

I spent a good hour and a half of my day today watching Jurassic Park III. I had been warned that it wasn’t that great a movie, but I don’t think anything could have prepared me for the horror that this movie represented. In fact, I am fairly certain that the movie, when imbibed undiluted, can make geese in neighbouring farms retch.
The computer animatronic graphic effects were fairly well done but, as has been pointed out many times prior, good special effects don’t necessarily make for a good movie. This is especially true if some of the plot devices used are cliched and if the plot holes can house a good proportion of the dinosaurs and the trailers they lived in during the filming of the film.

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The Bourne Identity + PJ OBrien's

Ethan Switch - Wednesday, September 4, 2002

The train ride toward the dusken city induced a feeling of drowsiness. A feeling reserved for the travel to, from and at uni. Nevertheless, as the moment of sleep made its appearance it did not go wasted. Seconds later the train arrived at its destination. The people with jobs were on their stampede home, looking all the more focussed and determined not to fall asleep on the station platform but to find comfort in the drool pooling on the person next to them. The exclusive call left details to the location of the preview screening.
Either the street numbering had nothing on logic or the logic of the street numbers bore no sense as the building marked 238 was directly across that of 208. From the general feeling the security guard at the door was not all that bright. He had no idea on what exactly was taking place six levels up and argued with Jimmy about it. Not only that but his post was on a small set of stairs that he clambered up and down from as the other viewers made it to the building.

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