Ethan Switch - Monday, 1 April, 2002 - Print Version
Sitting above the number one on the keyboard the Exclamation is an insecure and egotistical punctuation mark. Its insecurity and ego are closely linked to each other. Perhaps fearing a less than profound impact on a sentence it invariably will be seen with clones of itself, with a grouping of three the norm.
Not only is this gathering of Exclamation marks excessive it clearly shows how arrogant it is at times. One is enough to convey a mark of surprise, excitement or an impending turn of events. The appearance of more than one Exclamation at the end of a sentence drowns out the entire meaning of the very sentence it was meant to emphasise thus bringing the attention upon itself.
It does not end there.
At times it has been known to knock out and kidnap the letter I and step into its place, P!NK being a very public example of this treacherousness. Its humpbacked twin, the Question Mark, has been known to aid the Exclamation in its deeds. The two garner the most confusion when paired together. In an attempt to corrupt the very nature of punctuation they will sit on either side of each other bringing about both shock and concern. Their impact on meaning is apparent when they are asked to choose which of the two are to remain after being tickled green. The sentence no longer has meaning and either one can do just as well as the other. It seems as though corruption runs deep in the family of punctuation.
The elders of the clan Mark have no control over the Exclamation despite being related. Quotation is often disobeyed with Exclamation choosing haphazardly and erratically to sit on either side of the elder. The shenanigans have gone on for far too long and it needs a reality check; it is not the only punctuation mark alive.
Finagle with our bagel and keep a fresh and up-to-date eyeball on our latest reviews, articles and filthy somesuch. Mmm doughy.
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