Bargain Basement Music Review 2: If I Were A Ghost

Belvedere Jehosophat - Monday, April 28, 2003 - Print Version

Band: Warwick Moss
Album Title: If I Were A Ghost
Cost: $0.33
Description: Well, Warwick Moss isn’t as much a band as he is an Australian television personality. Our more astute readers will probably remember him from a show called ‘The Extraordinary.’ The Extraordinary was like the little cousin to an American show called ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ – or at least it seemed like that back when I used to watch both shows.

On the back of the CD package is a little message that states “Some poems are pre-loved. All have a musical journey added.” In essence, what we have is Warwick Moss reading poetry to which a musical landscape has been added. Of course, by musical landscape I think they meant really crappy beats and sounds that are meant to, I assume, evoke the Australian outback. It’s amazing what you can do with a slide guitar.

The poetry itself reminds me of something that Banjo Patterson would have written. I’ll leave that up to you to decide if that’s a good thing. [Hint: it’s not]. I guess it’s a bit of a shame since some of the ideas that Moss has and writes about are admirable and they are certainly things that I have myself pondered – a sense of alienation brought about by technology, and the increasingly frenetic pace of life.

A sample of the poetry:
clip clop, clip clop, clip clop
is that a carriage?
or a wombat nibbling on your ear?

That same poem contains the line “What the hell is that?” That’s just what I was thinking, Warwick. Is this life imitating art?

The CD booklet, I think, also deserves a mention due to its war crime inducing nature. Aside from a few lines of poetry, there are some photographs that I suspect are meant to give us a picture of cosmopolitan Sydney. At least, I think it is. I’m not sure if the photographs were taken with a sense of irony or if Warwick Moss was actually being serious.
There are photos of cafés and random people (with mullets no less) and trains and boats and other assorted things. I honestly have no idea who these images are being marketed to, though I firmly believe that the person who identifies with these images probably owns Henry Lawson’s complete works and the entire series of Changi on DVD.
Oh, well, at least the photographs of the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House didn’t look trite and clichéd. [Hint: they did, you know they did].

I apologise if this review seems a little caustic, as I’m sure that some people will appreciate what Warwick Moss is trying to do, I just can’t. It indulges in a mythology that I simply cannot relate to, as it’s too insular.
I apologise that I couldn’t bring myself to care about “The Kelpy Pup” that was adopted by a dingo bitch or “The Man With No Past,” I sincerely hope that this doesn’t make me un-Austrian.

Belvedere Jehosophat

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• bargain basement music,
• warwick moss,
• if i were a ghost,
• poetry

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