Audioslave at the Horden - 23rd April - A Zepplinesque land of the obese and aggressive.

Alex Yamakazi - Monday, 28 April, 2003 - Print Version

Time for a confession. I am deeply uncool. Because I value my pc above all other worldly possessions? Because I have developed a penchant for the color green? No.. well yes but the most uncool thing about me at the moment is my massive, juvenile crush on Chris Cornell. My love affair with Chris has spanned over 10 years. I have followed him through his early days of rampant long haired animal shirtlessness, the haircut, the solo album (ok u got me there I didn't actually BUY the solo album...but I did download all the Chris pics from the website) and now to his new band Audioslave.

One of the great regrets of my life was never having seen Soundgarden live. The painful strictures imposed by my parents prevented a nubile 17 year old Yamakazi from attending that fateful BDO... so when I heard that Audioslave were going to tour it was essential I acquire tickets and attend to worship my idol.

The morning the tickets were released I hovered over the Ticketek website like some great, black, flappy hovery thing and as the clock struck nine I descended to purchase tickets at high speed. Then came the anxious wait for their arrival, followed by the joyous jumping and skipping around my place of work when finally I had the magic yellow bits of cardboard in my hot little hand.

The painfully slow countdown began. 30 sleeps to Audioslave.... 29 sleeps to Audioslave... 28 sleeps to Audioslave.. and so on and so forth.

The Audioslave experience began in earnest as we entered the Moore park area. In true Horden Pavilion tradition the carpark was a black void of darkness and a 4 wheel drive was indicated to negotiate the treacherous muddy terrain. Luckily my veteran concert stomping boots were up to the quagmiric challenge and were able to safely carry me to the hallowed gateway.

Determined to be as close to Chris as possible I steered my friends through the crowd to about 15 people back from the stage. Unfortunately the tallest person in the world soon positioned himself in front of me and seemed able to anticipate and counter my frenzied attempts to see. As frustrating as it was at the time this turned out to be a fortunate turn of events as the support band "Warped", stung by the crowds complete lack of enthusiasm for them, began pelting us with cds. I can't catch so Mr Tall made a useful human shield. Unfortunately Warped's "brilliant" marketing/crowd control idea met a sticky end as the crowd took it upon themselves to throw the cds to the ground and stomp them to oblivion. After Warped finished their set a beach ball was produced and the crowd happily amused itself playing moshball for the next 20 mins or so. This would have been ok but some moron grabbed the ball half way through and spat all on it causing everyone to be sprayed with spit next time the ball went up in the air. Unfortunately this was indicative of the attitude of the crowd throughout the event: moronic and aggressive. A condom was later inflated and rose above the crowd. This was met with a little less enthusiasm.

As soon as the band came out I knew that I needed to be as close as possible. I managed to get very close to the front. Only about 4 people stood between me and Chris. This was a feat in itself as it was the toughest most girl unfriendly mosh I have ever been in. I was so close I could see how blue his eyes were....and then some massive tattooed moron ripped my shirt nearly off. Because I had to use one hand to hold my shirt up I had to move back to a quieter place in the crowd. So close.. yet so far... This was good in a way because it gave me space to appreciate the music rather than just fighting for my footing and my life.

Chris Cornell's voice was amazing. His range is huge and he can scream forever. I was glad to have seen him in the first show because he did not seem to nurse his voice along at all. Highlights included opening up the show with Set It Off and the acoustic version of I Am The Highway at the start of the encore. The only song that disappointed was Hypnotize. It seemed to have been done in a different key and it just did not sound right. Chris gave off a great energy to the crowd and seemed genuinely pleased to be sharing his music with us. He also was joking with the crowd about dining on fried up koala hands which struck a chord with me as I despise those fluffy little frauds.

Tom Morello did a sensational job on guitar incorporating lots of very trippy effects. He also spoke to the guys in the crowd about the way girls were being treated in the mosh which I thought was valid after my earlier experience.

Audioslave may not be producing groundbreaking material but it is good solid funky rock and it was a great show.

I figure if I start eating now... then I will have the sheer size needed to get to the front next time they are here...