Trapped miners continue boring despite equipment yet to start

Ethan Switch - Tuesday, May 2, 2006 - 23:50:42 - print it raw

Suffering under the weight of constant repetition of null information, two trapped Tasmanian miners, Brant Webb and Todd Russell, look into the dark of an eighth night underground in the Beaconsfield gold mine.

Taking a break from sunlight, and experiencing regular living conditions of exotic animals, the pair remain in their small cage one kilometre below the surface. As they drive attention and challenge Thredbo landslide survivor Stuart Diver for points, the pair remain free from burdens placed on surface dwellers reading and watching reports about reports and watching reports report on watching watchers report on reporters watching reports unfold.

As Russell requested the careers section of a newspaper and in an otherwise legitimate setting, mine manager Matthew Gill remarked, "I think I will discipline him for laying down on the job." Comments no doubt sparking the ire of Federal Opposition Leader Kim Beazley into bringing back the focus over the recent overhaul of industrial relations laws.

Other reports on the condition of the two joke on their delirium as they request tastier food over their nutrionally adequate biscuits and vitamin tablets.

On that note...

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