Time Travel Is Lonely

Belvedere Jehosophat - Sunday, March 30, 2003 - 19:23:47 - print it raw

It seems that people will go to any number of crazy lengths to rip off the system and earn a few extra clams. This is especially true in the case of one Andrew Carlssin who, as his defense to accusations of insider trading, has claimed that he is in fact a time-traveler from the year 2256.

The Wall Street watchdogs’ suspicion was, perhaps justifiably, aroused when Carlssin turned an initial $800 dollar investment into $350 million. Carlssin, however, claimed that he had traveled back over 200 years to take advantage of what, if you believe his story, will be one of the worst stock plunges in history.

Whether the man is completely insane or not is unimportant as he has offered, in return for leniency and the right to return to his time craft, the location of Osama Bin Laden and the cure for AIDS. Methinks it’s an offer too good to pass up.

On that note...

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Where in Kentucky - Mammoth Cave National Park: Monstrously, and seemingly neverending, sitting under the home ground of Colonel Sanders, the world's largest cave system. Yucatan comes nowhere close. Not even Cocklebiddy poses a threat. No comparison. Small holes looking up at a big fat long one. Sadly, with possible age and lack of food, no minotaurs to be found within the lime walls.
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