Aperçus of A Religious Flavour

Sulken milk, a lamenting maid, on the hill a deal is made

Ethan Switch - Tuesday, 29 November, 2005 - 23:17:59 - print it raw

Deborah, a milkmaid low on luck and with no petrol for the truck, found herself stranded on a refuge island off a main street in Hayes, Michigan.

From all evidence and eye witness reports, no external forces were keeping the woman between the south and north banks of the highway road. Only an internal, invisible conscription.

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Speaking of the truth and a reclamation of the wayward flock

Ethan Switch - Monday, 7 November, 2005 - 19:56:32 - print it raw

Following a round of new baptisms for the month, fatality strikes the holy waters as a self-affirmed and appointed voice of goD shakes uncontrollably at the hands of a recently acquired karaoke machine.

Deacon Roy Haider, shortly after reclaiming excommunicated Bea Howe, taken back from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, revealed a hidden microphone from underneath his jacket. Unveiling a newly constructed menu of festivities for such occasions, he motioned toward a page to turn up the volume on the speakers set by the pool.

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Halloween is the stuff of child's play and piñatas are seasonal

Ethan Switch - Monday, 31 October, 2005 - 18:03:46 - print it raw

Carlo Conforti, a man in his late forties, was found beating a donkey to death in the early morning of Halloween. Balding, and with a birthmark covering his left ear, Conforti was discovered mid-swing by a small group of children during their morning callisthenics.

It's believed that Conforti, divorced and with no children or carer, took the equine beast from the stables of the Catholic school grounds during the commotion of a protest rally over the persistence of The Devil and the Black Feast of the Churches.

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Contrition and the absence of absolute and clear reason

Ethan Switch - Sunday, 23 October, 2005 - 19:56:57 - print it raw

Generating a sizeable quantity of an unknown substance beneath the parish he so steered, Pastor Usagi Jacobs found his position crumbling at his feet. Confidence on continued discretion and questions on the actual substance overlaying each sermon on the secret secretion driving hidden demons.

Reeking of an intense yellow and stinging of a greenish mole, the collection festered from below with an unrelenting strain of salt water. Combination of such covering the walls and pews in an undeniably slick film which led many parishioners of the church to faint during the hotter days of the month.

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Anniversary of 9/11 attacks tips wine glass over waves of renovations

Ethan Switch - Monday, 12 September, 2005 - 19:28:06 - print it raw

Four years on and renovations of all varying degrees continues to blaze throughout the world. As the siblings of the slain called out their names in the gaping hole that is Ground Zero in New York, the world continues apace with the movement toward a new look face.

Jubilation feeds the Palestinians standing on mounds and grounds of rubble. After so long under the 38-year occupied rule of the Israelis, their energies are rampant on clearing land once held on by their synagogues. Eyes glitter with new art deco designs and compositions on landscape gardening. Presenting the Palestinians with the full experience of do-it-yourself renovations, the withdrawing Israeli troops abandoned 24 synagogues down the Gaza Strip for makeshift demolition.

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Worshippers set sights on future lights of Sydney

Ethan Switch - Monday, 22 August, 2005 - 00:09:48 - print it raw

From the entrails and bowels of Cologne, Germany, Pope Benedict XVI has declared an expected invasion of nubile athletes upon the shores of Australia in 2008.

Atheists will be on full alert as thousands of young and lithe pilgrims set their sights on Sydney under a ruse known as the Roman Catholic World Youth Day.

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