Prime Minister misses out on killing Iraqi strapped hostage

Ethan Switch - Thursday, 16 June, 2005 - 18:49:49 - print it raw

Shocking a gaggle of ministers and cabinet members falling half-asleep in another round of empty beers during question time in Parliament, Prime Minister John Howard fell soft on revelations that hostage Douglas Wood's had been rescued from his Iraqi captors.

Mumbling utter breaths of appreciation and indignation, the one-eyed attendees in the plush leather seats were merely disturbed from their nap time at the bark of the miraculous news.

Staring down the barrel of blood splattered wall decorations replete with brain matter, the Australian government's lack of real effort in the case was instrumental on Wood's chances of survival.

Surviving on copious joys of body fat and will to live, Wood's first thoughts following the 47-day ordeal were on beer and football. Psychologists say this is a sign that Wood is still surrendering his state in a protective shell.

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