Microchip Manufacturer Messily Masticated

Jimmy Weasel - Sunday, December 15, 2002 - 09:16:31 - print it raw

Germany; in what weird internet bylines are describing as "a real-life hannibal lecter", the bare facts are nothing short of savage and barbaric. Apparrantly, the Homme du jour answered a classified ad reading: "Wanted: young, well-built 18-30-year-old for slaughter".

Despite not fitting the age requirement, his curiosity was both piqued and riled, and thus, 42 year old Siemens employee responded to the ad only to meet a gourmet demise; parts of him digested, the rest sits in a freezer.

German authorities are very quick to point the finger at Thomas Harris' foul selection of cannibalistic literary fiction.

In what can only be described as a statement of extreme paranoia, columnist Franz Josef Wagner of Germany's Tabloid "Bild" discourses: "They are invisible behind their glasses, their hairstyles, their families, their work, their seemingly unblemished innocence... These sick people are hiding among us, they are in our very midst."

Ramblings of extreme fear continue to sprout from the most likely of places.

On that note...

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The Human Stain

Speaking of:

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