Apercu of Paranoid Times genus

Surrogate memory & chunks of crap bound for the unknown

Jimmy Weasel - Saturday, November 30, 2002 - 11:48:48 - print it raw

I know we live in crazy times & I know I cite only from New Scientist, but time is of the essence, and it's about time I "did something". New Scientist magazine, thumbed though during hiatus provided me with scary thoughts of memory storage. All your childhood thoughts dreams and conversations long forgotten will soon have a place in what microsoft wants to call "MyLifeBits" (geddit? bits! hahaha) and store these things forever. As we speak, The Bill Gates Goon Factory of hired software engineers strapped to tables are working out ways of storing every picture taken, every letter written and scarily EVERY PHONECALL. Your life can then be searched. Creepy. And I can't think of anything more futile or boring.

Which takes me to my next weird concept (again, from New Scientist(bless their sweet hearts)) involving throwing your stupid junk at the moon. That's right, shoppers, just $16.95US (that's 480 Thousand Australian Pesos) you can send an individual message to the moon. Yet for some reason, $2500 US is needed to send a business card upwards. I can't imagine who'd read a business card on the moon, but this joint Russian-Ukranian venture is sure to be inundated with takers. I'd love to hurl Wax Conspiracy Business card at the lunar surface, but the fact is we're too cheap/lazy to get them printed; much less onto a rocket - a decomsissioned nuclear missile to be precise.

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Is Death The Only Exit, Buried & Then Released?

Belvedere Jehosophat - Tuesday, November 26, 2002 - 14:32:00 - print it raw

I’m not sure whether I am allowed to divulge the history behind the name ‘The Wax Conspiracy’ and just to be sure I shan’t. I will, however, state that its origin had nothing to do with conspiracies per se.

I, myself, do not usually indulge in the teasing out of conspiracy theories. This is mainly because I find it hard to care whether people have landed on Elvis or if the moon is in fact still alive.

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Bad craziness “down on the pharm”

Jimmy Weasel - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 - 01:25:36 - print it raw

Cute titles aside, the article read just prior to posting has menacing rammifications and all the makings of a great film about freelance invesigative reporting; fit for a sequel about Erin Brokovitch. How does corn get into soybean plots?..It seems that the US Food & Drug Administration and the Dept. of Agriculture have found GM corn growing in some soybean plots in 2 different states. It's hard to determine what the scariest thing is about this failure. The GM crops concerned were never intended for "eating" (pharmaceutical/industrial purposes only), and apparantly, new measures will be taken to prevent "drug-laced crop" from ending up on your plates. No word as to what kind of drugs the crops are laced with, but i think a tremendous opportunity to smuggle narcotics is going begging at this point right here; hiding drugs at a genetic level within plants is a lot more comfortable than swallowing a hundred condoms of smack.

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Lethargy on the wax

Jimmy Weasel - Friday, November 15, 2002 - 02:50:12 - print it raw

After a brief lapse in concentration, movement and hygeine, I've once again skimmed the news of the world, looking for the underlying messages and crazy puns. Having found neither, I went straight to the New Scientist site for the skinny on *everything*, and found this nugget of hope.

It seems there are plans by some of the larger entertainment companies in the US to poison and destroy my file-trading brothers. Yet once again the children of the p2p have found a way to thwart these evil men. It goes like this: Evil men, once they are given the power to attack the computers of suspected copyright infringers, can easily log on to a network and flood said user until their computer "canna take it anymore, captain". This can be avoided by not processing subsequent requests from that same node until every other request from other nodes has been processed first. Ingenious.

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I Want A Range Life

Belvedere Jehosophat - Friday, November 8, 2002 - 10:33:26 - print it raw

Now that Ethan has so callously insulted both the Melbourne Cup winning jockey and his dead brother and indeed accused the winner of being responsible for the death of the brother I can only assume that there will be repercussions. These I suspect will come as a raid on The Wax offices to be followed up with the stringing up of Wax members Mussolini style.

This means that if we are to survive this angry mob there exists the possibility that I/we are going to have to flee. I have already made tentative plans to flee to a desert island. In preparation for such an eventuality I have started to write up those stupid ‘what 10 CDs would you take to a desert island?’ lists.

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Bigger than Nestle...

Jimmy Weasel - Sunday, November 3, 2002 - 00:33:08 - print it raw

Three days ago, the Zambian Government refused food aid (maize) on the basis that it is genetically modified. News sources are disagreeing upon the exact number of people to go hungry or are in need of food, but none will be consumed until it gets the go-ahead from Zambian scientists. Surrounding nations in similar situations have accepted the GM maize only after it was milled to ensure that it could not be grown by local farmers, but Zambia seems to be on to something.

Is this a strange trial of GM safety upon the nations of the hungry? The Zambian Agriculture Minister is not fooled, and paranoid ponderings aside, he gets hats-off for upholding the right to maintain his nations biodiversity.

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