Aperçus of Paranoid Times

Popping Those Pills as You Cook with Gas

Ethan Switch - Monday, 31 May, 2004 - 20:58:52 - print it raw

Conventional ovens heat the theory that the U.S. actually govern the oil reserves sumping the Middle East. Lining the trays with reflective aluminium foil is the belief that the barons that stand together as OPEC are nothing more than C-grade actors of appropriate appearance. This leads some to think that the rotating spit of cries on rising oil prices is a sure sign of cahoots found sleeping with the parties. Or that the stock in Hybrid car manufacturing is held long with an option to buy out the world later on.

Fine running of interference then for the FDA and pharmaceutical companies of the United States. Canada is partly to blame for the rising oil prices. Their low, low prices on bulk bought drugs has left many pharmacies in the States seeing the dust blown in their faces as the addled and elderly go on trips across the border. The new kind of casino shuttle, they buy big from the Canadians and leave the gouging prices for the less border-bound. At least they were able to.

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The Power of Suggestion - Today: The Hybrid; Tomorrow: You?

Jimmy Weasel - Thursday, 20 May, 2004 - 20:05:32 - print it raw

As time passes, the obvious emerges. The obvious, in this case, has been developed to obscure the rest. The rest, of course, being what can be described as "the unproven agenda." While it's widely assumed that certain military actions are about oil, it should be noted that the bigger picture contains an emission-reduced focal point. A product will sell better in suited conditions, and a well placed media hype-job on how soaring petrol prices will eat your baby around a release date seems like the ideal environment.

The synapses of the Great Masses are firing blanks - numbed down from current affairs programs hell bent on producing tears upon the stupid, the weak and the ignorant.

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Moving Mounds of Dirt Made Hungry for the Juice

Ethan Switch - Wednesday, 28 April, 2004 - 20:46:32 - print it raw

Murmurs surfaced in the previous week when speculation of the prime rib status of an attack on Sydney's electrifying juice. Allegations Faheem Khalid Lhodi was plotting to bomb the national power grid certainly weren't helpful in the view of keeping the terrorists at bay. First in The Australian and confirmed by Federal Attorny-General Phillip Ruddock, Lodhi was being monitored by ASIO as the alleged terrorist, through the use of the pseudonym, M. Ralus, procured maps of the Sydney electricity grid, paying fond attention to the western district in particular.

Lodhi certainly did not share his information as in the mid-morning of today, parts of the south west of Sydney darkened. Powerless from a blackout resulting from a careless excavator on a work-site who cut a major line underground. Spreading far, retailers were forced to stand agape and ignorant outside their entrances like bouncers and security guards. One sleeveless hap remarked on the television crews scrambling their way down to the Westfields of Liverpool "trying to catch some of the chaos." Of which, there was none as looters were mentally locked out and ruing the fall of the event on a Wednesday morning.

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Education Minister Forces Fabricated Political Alliances

Ethan Switch - Friday, 2 April, 2004 - 19:31:06 - print it raw

The recent National Day of Action orchestrated by the National Union of Students, in opposition to the escalating rise in HECS fees, presented a few student protestors with their first eyeball taste of pepper spray. Falling out of that is the Federal Education Minister's inability to comprehend non-exisitent political alliances of NUS.

Coupled with anxiety over the unexpectedly expected call date for the federal election of this year and figuring that any union is a union in support of the Labor Party, Brendon Nelson attempted to attack NUS and the ALP in one fell swoop.

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Indian Call Centres Not Australian Enough

Ethan Switch - Tuesday, 17 February, 2004 - 22:51:59 - print it raw

Day after day after noon and the bookbound and bloodshot artists emerge from their slumber. The population eat again the visual placemats of scorn and anger as their call centres and tech support jobs move offshore to the Indian priced labour camps. Fuel for the fire of talkback radio, editorials and cries of outrage, the bald faced lies of a distorted reality.

A reality glossed over by the large corporations and media outlets attempting to convince the populace that the overseas bargain priced staff are trained in Australian English. Passages, footage and images have often showed scenes of Indian personnel sweat-locked in white rooms. Within, their condescending attempts to wrestle their tongues around colloquialisms and ocker parlance.

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Smoke in the Eyes, Arses in the Air

Ethan Switch - Friday, 21 November, 2003 - 19:36:37 - print it raw

As a Frenchman climbing all over the Sydney Harbour Bridge playing indicator, the time is ripe for a massive sweep of home invasions during the Rugby World Cup between England and Australia on Saturday night. Alain Robert, also known as the hyphenetically absent Spiderman, said that the reasoning behind his scaling was that it was "once in time life," as captured before being shoved into the back of a police van waiting patiently at the bottom as he climbed down the bridge.

As the media spotlighted this poor excuse for security around one of Sydney's main landmark, the NSW Police instead chose to highlight their prescence in the World Cup finals, "Patrons can expect to see a noticeable police presence in and around the stadium," Assistant Commissioner Chris Evans said. "As part of our security plan we will be searching bags, and if you don’t want to miss any part of the final, get there early."

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