Apercu of Media and Marketing genus

Dingoes eat babies for breakfast before getting shot in the face by supper time

Ethan Switch - Friday, July 9, 2004 - 08:39:54 - print it raw

Meryl Streep's questionable Australian accent in the 1988 film production of Evil Angels/A Cry in the Dark has risen again like disagreeable chunks of human flesh.

After 25 years, a man calling himself Frank Cole stepped into the headlights of national attention with his startling claim of wildlife tomfoolery. Centred with a shaky cock sight, Cole claimed that he had shot the dingo what nabbed little baby Azaria Chamberlain all those many years ago. Sprouting forth from his estate, the 78 year-old man then added that he had dumped and buried the body of the child, fearful of being taken in by the blasting of his gun in a wildlife park.

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Tightly Bound Using Stones, Fermented Under Plastic Cheese

Ethan Switch - Thursday, June 17, 2004 - 01:07:22 - print it raw

Looking to set themselves apart from the McDonald's of North America as featured in Morgan Spurlock's fast food binge documentary, McDonalds Australia have been on the defensive. Presenting facts from their marketing and nutrition department, McDonalds Australia fail to note one simple thing, the actual title of the documentary, Supersize Me.

Taking point a little further, they posted on their website an email sent by Spurlock to McDonald's Media Spokesperson, Lisa Howard. The original intent of the correspondence was to draw somebody, anybody, from the fast food behemoth into talking with Spurlock for the documentary. At least fifteen calls were made, all silently rejected. Spinning faster than stomachs in the sun, the note is tilted with the preface of "What Morgan Spurlock really thinks of McDonald's".

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Nigritude Ultramarine Whacking with Google

Ethan Switch - Wednesday, June 9, 2004 - 01:01:17 - print it raw

"Nigritude Ultramarine," according to the sac of Brisbane Internet marketing company, Dark Blue, has been one major rabid search term of late, spreading its juices across the pond ploughing seeds in pages and pages. This from the initial run of zero returns just one month ago on the term in Google now sports near half a million pages bearing the poor translation.

There is the "miserable failure" known widely and pointed out as "so last year" in the same deep-throated breath as that of the rscheearch conducted by Cambridge boffins drunk and spewing forth mixed Scrabble tiles. A Google bomb in the former and a circulated effort to read shapes in the latter.

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May Contain Forward Looking Statements

Ethan Switch - Thursday, June 3, 2004 - 21:08:14 - print it raw

"I welcome the formation of an Interim Iraqi Government to administer Iraq from 30 June after the dissolution of the Coalition Provisional Authority and the end of the occupation by Coalition forces." said Alexander Downer, Foreign Affairs Minister.

Leaving around four weeks before the formation of an Iraqi governing council, a forced sense of hope is seen in the leading paragraph of the media release. Whether or not the organisation will have its act together by that date is another matter, best left to those who can strain a worry bead.

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Amplified Salivations on Danish Royal Wedding

Ethan Switch - Friday, May 14, 2004 - 20:33:35 - print it raw

Tasting the flavour of an injection of Australian royalty within their reaches, viewers left unsullied by a disconnect to the impending Danish royal wedding. Royal nuptials are far and few between, one with Australian blood even rarer still and the union of Prince Frederik Christian and Tasmania's Mary Donaldson has been rubbed vigourously into the eyes of the masses stronger than a salt force on the Mainland.

Blanket coverage is rivalling major news points for the week. The treatment and quiet joy of prisoner treatment befalling Iraqis captured in battle, darkly humourous American beheadings, faked photographs showing British soldiers getting their heels into the Iraqis and the Federal Budget overspill.

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Real People, Real Money, Genuine Woollen Knits

Ethan Switch - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 - 20:37:03 - print it raw

Reality television filling in the crevasses of the brain dead glut still manages to hook the hicks and inbred from their suburban coils. Faced with seemingly burgeoning opportunities to revel in their own filth, people sacrifice their children's sanity in the hopes of being the next has-beens-that-never-were. The scams are in the making and possibly one of the latest comes from an organisation based in the state of Queensland.

Random recipients are chosen from a fluctuating pool of 250 that runs into the thousands. Statistically following all the rules of fishing, an envelope is sent with details of being a "chosen one." The plate in this case being that they have made their way onto the second stage of a selection process. One for an "exciting new television show" being produced by the people of Starsearch Productions (formerly known as We Finance Anything). The "invitation" requests that the lucky Readers Digest primped contestants send in $125 to aid in the "processing fee."

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