Aperçus of Entertainment

Swirling headaches bringing blood and bees that are eating away at the ulcers

Ethan Switch - Tuesday, 29 June, 2004 - 00:40:54 - print it raw

Australia's latest manufactured music star—stocked with invisible quote delimiters—failed to pounce upon debut the number one spot in the singles chart as read by ARIA. Melbourne's Kayne Taylor looked set to be the next number one with a bullet to his head on leaving the reality kitchen karaoke show, Popstars Live. Diminishing audience numbers of the show and a stark absence in the commercial radio playlists most likely cause for the effect.

Releasing the single Heartbreaker only a week ago, its mark at number eight in the chart has led to a foul representation and fetid stench toward the passive and zombified viewers. Viewers who in the past lives of such generated music personalities as Bardot, Scandul'us and Scott Cain, have gone on to reward their own habits by making the resultant product a number one hit charts-wise. That there were any left hanging out at the stores with knowledge of who to ask for remarkable in itself.

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With Watered Grass They Cry For the Slain Rubber

Ethan Switch - Saturday, 19 June, 2004 - 00:16:28 - print it raw

Child safety and the enjoyment of carnies looking to fist balls of money faster in fair-weather conditions have an alternative to the dunk tanks of long-held tradition. Watching poor souls seated above massive tanks of water preciously farting for stray objects has seen the development of a game system, Pitchburst, by WhirlWhims. Clear images of fearful people being sent splashing into a tank full of water have been taken over with balloons held overhead releasing water from on high to splash down on the poor soul seated.

From their own mouth, "invented as a last-minute dunk tank alternative during the drought of 1999 in Bucks County, PA, when local water use restrictions prohibited filling a 500 gallon dunk tank for a Make A Wish fund-raising backyard carnival."

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Big Bother over a Little German's Sign

Ethan Switch - Monday, 14 June, 2004 - 20:08:25 - print it raw

Fitted with a newly supplanted transsexual into the mix of residents of Big Brother, the need for controversy was upstaged by a little German with rampantly wild facial hair. Staging a political protest on his eviction from the Big Brother compound, housemate Merlin Luck whipped out gaffa tape and silenced himself as he walked down the eviction aisle with a sign reading "FREE THE REFUGEES." Facts shot down by the Minister for Immigration as only the lucky few are classified as refugees, the rest, detainees.

On making his defeated tramp down the runaway onto the stage the sign fell apart to signal a wish to "FREE TA REFUGEES." Fear running rampant through his beady little eyes, the German's legs never stopped shaking his body. A sniper bullet not forthcoming, Merlin was ushered off stage rendered useless by his refusal to speak. Whirling around a chance to spark some sort of controversy, the fact that Merlin is not an Australian citizen and proud of the fact but unable to compose himself while under a barrage of questions related to such.

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Microfiction Readings to Rampage Melbourne Cityscape

Ethan Switch - Monday, 17 May, 2004 - 20:46:09 - print it raw

Asserting their brand of head space on the minds and eyes of the Melbourne city walkers, young writers condensed into familial expression limits of 25 words or less. Presented by Express Media, ACMI and rok media, the Microfiction event will run from 18 to 30 May as part of the 2004 Next Wave festival.

Flashing up on the city's LED screens, around twenty young wordsmiths will have their pieces running across the displays ranging from extremely short shots of narrative, fiction, commentary and textual massage. Stated on the line, "the intention is to encourage young writers to experiment with writing stories in less than twenty five words." Territorially, this method of stricture closes many minds entering competitions of such unlimited expression.

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Big Brother 4 Secret Out and About $1 Million

Ethan Switch - Monday, 3 May, 2004 - 19:29:54 - print it raw

Leading up to the first episode of the fourth series of Big Brother, viewers were droned and zoned into mildly guessing at what the elusive "secret" would be. Teaser advertisements proclaiming a new twist to the fish-bowl reality TV show stressed at the impact it might have on the nominations and/or votes for the housemates. Revealing a $1 million first prize for the last standing housemate failed to elicit any sort of reaction beyond the shock of the live audience in what host Gretel Killeen half-wore for the broadcast.

An airtight lock down of the compound trapping the housemates while a deadly mist of sarin gas claimed the lives of contestants was one of the calls placed on short odds. Punters who placed bets on the big secret of BB4 being such lost out. Similar strains which included the unleashing of a deadly virus and a litre of hemlock in one of the bottles too claimed the gambler's money.

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Coursing Comicbooks for the Illuminati

Ethan Switch - Friday, 30 April, 2004 - 18:55:45 - print it raw

Wallowing in self-worth for years riding the backs of the one dollar notes in the United States of America, the Illuminati are looking outside the real mainstream for even more exposure.

Questionably an unknowing party to their scheme, comicbook rumour columnist Rich Johnston has been reminding the faithful readers of Lying in the Gutters to the symbol of the eye set in a pyramid. A symbol synonymous with the order of the Illuminati.

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