Aperçus of Death and Biscuits

Water, water everywhere, let's bathe in human waste

Ethan Switch - Sunday, 4 September, 2005 - 20:05:59 - print it raw

Culling of the human race continues on a neck on broken neck slippery pace as the fluid forces of water once again pick up the slack.

The almighty God/Allah/Yahweh, dancing a storm in flowing robes of white, is a supreme being who may not favour the flavours and tastes of Cajun cooking. Saviour of the rich and golden brown stranglers.

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Pacific Highway continues to peel off impressive numbers

Ethan Switch - Wednesday, 31 August, 2005 - 14:08:16 - print it raw

Located off the north of Coffs Harbour, a stretch of the Pacific Highway at Woolgoolga has staked a glorious claim in the road toll leadership board.

The section between Macksville and Grafton, New South Wales has clocked in a magnificent run of six deaths in a short span of nine days. Due to the sacrificial efforts of a 39-year-old man hailing from South Grafton, it sets a precedent for all other highways in their attempts at becoming barrels of death.

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Brogden slams a mail order bride and exits the Liberal Party roost

Ethan Switch - Monday, 29 August, 2005 - 14:25:28 - print it raw

On back of an apologetic ride of insults and crude public displays of flirting, Liberal MP John Brogden has resigned as the New South Wales leader of the Opposition.

Floundering to find footing in the fair grounds of a political chicken fight, Brogden's chance at happiness was stolen weeks earlier when the then Premier Bob Carr announced his resignation from the Labor Party and the political life in general.

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Wavering Qantas troubles problematic for excitable death barons

Ethan Switch - Thursday, 25 August, 2005 - 18:39:07 - print it raw

Qantas, with their as yet fatality-free score of plane trips, is walking under the microscope of the Civil Aviation Safety Authority. Recent troubles are troubling those with an eye for disaster and aerial explosions showering grounds below with shards, debris and charred human off cuts.

Earlier in the week suspected smoke in the cargo hold brought a Perth bound Qantas jumbo to an emergency landing in Osaka, Japan. With no severe crash, boom or operatics beyond passenger hysterics, disappointment flooded the air and overhead compartments.

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Lord and master of Gonzo goes kablooey

Ethan Switch - Sunday, 21 August, 2005 - 21:08:39 - print it raw

Hunter Stockton Thompson says goodbye.

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Cry, cry again, end the rain of atomic pain

Ethan Switch - Monday, 15 August, 2005 - 19:43:02 - print it raw

Days and tears are closing up and wrapping down the ever long celebrations and commemorations of the Victory in the Pacific/Bombings of Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

With death dying down on the air and grounds, Japan's Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi once again took the lead in apologising for his country's paltry efforts against humanity in the production of World War II: Attack of the Humans.

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