Fly By Night Against the Burning of Flesh

Ethan Switch - Friday, June 6, 2003 - 12:34:03 - print it raw

Week in, week out, another family dies in the flames of a house barricaded against burglars. The very security feature which was supposed to save them another rise in their insurance premiums has made cremation that much easier to decide upon. It has been a long time since firefighters have had to pry the dead and roasted fingers of a panicked homeowner ruing the day they ever decided to install such a feature to their home. But burn they have.

Display homes are selected houses which serve as an advertising tool for companies choosing to invest some of their product in the hopes that surrounding neighbours take a fancy to the product, call for a quotation and hopefully, make a full fledged purchase of their own. The initial outlay on the company's part is relatively countered by the ratio of signups that may or may not follow as a result of their presence in the street.

A recent distribution of flyers from Half Price Shutters leaves some to wonder about the selection process in choosing a display home. Photos on the flyer feature weatherboard or brick veneer homes with windows covered in shutters alongside placards of the company. The handout takes the hands off the personal touch by claiming to have missed the homeowner during the rounds of door-to-door solicitations. This is while the leaflet is folded amongst other junk mail stalwarts like coupons and catalogues.

They've tapped into the fact that an oven works best when there is a tight seal, one such prominent feature of the roller shutters. In turn, the usual charring will most likely be left behind for extreme heat insulation and exhaustion and sounds of blood curdling screams held down to 50% of regular deaths.

On that note...

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