The Wax Conspiracy

Ancient apercus from December 2005

wish for something better

Belvedere Jehosophat - Sunday, December 25, 2005 - 09:30:17

Merlina, the crow, spoke to me and said, "Do you not know, can you not tell, that your blood is diseased?"

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Whale bones and crosses stand naked against the bloody sky

Ethan Switch - Friday, December 23, 2005 - 23:01:58

Condemnation from the Japanese whaling excursion as their seasonal harvest continues with bloody focus. Riding the waters and wake of the fleet out to collect more meat for the delicate diets of blubbering chefs, Greenpeace have made efforts to collect a little cumbersome.

Subverting protestors, the Keiko Maru chose instead to chopper a member of the ship offshore to Hobart for some medical attention. Expected to actually dock on Saturday morning, the recent attention has forced their hand in cloaking their movements.

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Outlaws riding whale suckers are hiding in plain sushi

Ethan Switch - Thursday, December 22, 2005 - 23:06:43

Culinary science research continues apace with the current Japanese whaling expedition ramping up kitchen slaughter numbers in the lead up to extinction.

Fearful of the consequences of their continued ploughing. the Fisheries Agency of Japan has doubled their orders for minke whales and added fin to the menu. Humpback flavoured recipes are not being left entirely out of the loop with numbers being beefed for next year's outings.

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Continuing police numbers quell the punchlines for a backstage pass

Ethan Switch - Monday, December 19, 2005 - 14:32:16

Blood spilling on the streets of the beach side suburbs from Cronulla to Coogee suffered a heavy hit over the weekend. With the ever increasing bloat of police and law enforcement taking up a noted presence, the backhanded squirrel slappers and pony fists took a back seat.

On the main bitumen of the Sydney CBD, thousands turned out in supportive force against the racial events of the previous weekend and rambling week of radio shock jock incitement.

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Hicks closer to becoming UK citizen and further from Australia's problem

Ethan Switch - Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 23:01:03

Edging closer to the safety of being a UK citizen, the British High Court is making moves to ease the public displeasure of the Australian Government's involvement with David Hicks.

Festering in Guantanamo Bay with the rats and rodents of wardens and watch clockers, Hicks has been acknowledged by the High Court as an actual person. One deemed worthy enough of hearings to have him brought under the British bosom as the Australian counterparts have yet been more than lacking in efforts.

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Iceland takes over the World, joins with Earth and Universe

Ethan Switch - Sunday, December 11, 2005 - 23:24:06

Miss Iceland, Unnur Birna Vilhjalmsdottir, has been destroyed all other contestants in the battle to claim the crown of Miss World. With proceedings and tests of dance mettle beamed from an arena in Sanya, People's Republic of China, the 1.73 metre beauty from Iceland becomes the 55th holder of the coveted title.

Miss Mexico, Dafne Molina Lona, was valiant in collecting the runner-up trophy while Miss Puerto Rico, Ingrid Marie Rivera Santos, came third into the final stages weilding the disembodied head of a ruthless voting member of the global audience.

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Bardflys collect collective crown for final Sydney poetry slam

Ethan Switch - Thursday, December 8, 2005 - 23:43:29

With few suffering blindness from a constant high blow flash bulb, an audience close to one hundred, or less dependent upon accounting schema, were witness to the Sydney Poetry Slam finals of 2005.

Holding court in the Mitchell Wing of the State Library of NSW, rhyme and performance of a night's festivities. Service of Dr Pepper non-existent, the doling of free alcohol rode against limits of two blue bands.

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Excitement gets Big Kev scrubbed and flushed

Ethan Switch - Tuesday, December 6, 2005 - 23:25:13

Losing ground in the doom filled fillo pastry of a world conquered by the obese, with men swabbing guts holding more than other bellies can, Kevin "Big Kev" McQuay flipped the big bird and washed his cleaning products down the drain along with his life.

Suffering a heart attack last night, the Gold Coast businessman, famous for shouting over his flamboyant shirts, died at the age of 55 and with the volume set beyond all others.

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Convicted drug smuggler, Van Tuong Nguyen, hung like a mule

Ethan Switch - Friday, December 2, 2005 - 14:49:35

Like the potential victims of his short-lived career as a drug courier, Van Nguyen twitched till dead by the virtue of non-life. Hanged by the Singaporean Government at 06:00 Singapore time (09:00 Australian Eastern Daylight Savings time) early this December morning.

Holding vigil under the threat of protest, supporters, choked by tears and sorrow, lightened up the gates of Changi prison, keeper of the man convicted three years ago of moving masses of malice.

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Word Wrestling Federation call for state slam poetry challengers

Ethan Switch - Thursday, December 1, 2005 - 17:35:48

Purveyors, publicists and pushers of poetry and poets pocket pieces of popping rocks as the crowd and sundry heed the knocking off of their socks.

Beginning now, calls to every single state and territory outside New South Wales and Victoria.

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