Ancient apercus from January 2005

Continuity wipes work to cleanse hopes fuelled by Latham

Ethan Switch - Friday, January 28, 2005 - 17:21:37

Ever the disenfranchised and disheartened, the Australian Labor Party have dusted off the oils and packed away the barbs to again send in two-time champion loser, Kim Beazely, to go and lead their party to the next federal election.

Growing spores collected along the party halls throughout the week as the other candidates were fiercely rolled over into the wet spot. The lumbering hunk of Brand material swept in to unite the Federal Labor party never with an agenda. Knowing dual deal to be done on the run, Beazely also held subversive media spots as a pusher of the mobile phones, one ever so glued to the side of his face with ardent glee.

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Labor's Latham moves on from stabbing position

Ethan Switch - Tuesday, January 18, 2005 - 18:54:33

Within the ranks of the Australian Labor Party, premature ejaculator Kim Beazley and his merry band of fluffers and scrubbers are oiling themselves. Their fervent lubing follows the news that their once incumbent and taxi driver bashing leader, Mark Latham, has chosen to step down from his post. With all sides of the coin turning faster than the night on a binge of garlic sauce scrapped from the backside, the now ex-Labor leader has also chosen to throw in the towel for his local seat of Werriwa.

Taking to point days of uncertainty over his health and state of power, it came as no surprise to those waiting with daggers in the wings. Their loss of party enthusiasm sheltered and shunted toward the incapacitated Latham. It was his marked absence in the outpouring and deep throating of the recent tsunami incident—widely considered to be an international disaster for tourism—that led to the caucus members rolling out the spit.

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(Unknowing saviours & the inadvertently saved.)

Belvedere Jehosophat - Sunday, January 16, 2005 - 18:21:26

osculate; to kiss.

Hundreds of people, maybe as many as 39, line up at a bus stop waiting for a bus that is long overdue. They begin to rock back and forth slowly like trees swaying gently in the wind, but, because of their breeding or maybe because of an indefinable trait of the species, they cling to the ground, backs bent ‘til breaking, withstanding the ever-increasing winds. By all rights these people should snap in half, but they never do. It’s bizarre, to say the least, but it’s still OK, you know?

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Tsunami devastation attempts to squeal out terrorism titles

Ethan Switch - Wednesday, January 12, 2005 - 18:47:55

The world continues to reel in the cash for the tsunami victims more than the rest of the Indian Ocean knows how to salt. Funds and donations on aggregate ensuring that even the laid back and penniless have contributed their small nothingness toward the grand scheme of charity in spirit only.

Muslims in Indonesia are wary on the incoming aid relief, the suspicions of a Christian tidal wave rampant with the foodstuffs hauled their way. The washing away of people en masse, and the new religion of another county looks tempting under a god that would wipe out half their tourism.

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Death comes in waves; Wave back and don't be rude

Ethan Switch - Friday, January 7, 2005 - 17:57:17

Neck by broken neck, the recent suture of the national holiday road toll is all set to be wiped out by a flood of climbing numbers from the fresh killings of a tsunami.

Racking in a lower than expected death stew of a paltry 41, the national holiday road toll reported far lower than the impressive 81 corpses and mangled bodies recorded in the same time last year. Fingers were fired and excuses were found as the time period for this year was shortened by four days, taking away an avenue for a sudden rush of fresh human road kill in that concentrated time frame.

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half the time we act all numb

Belvedere Jehosophat - Saturday, January 1, 2005 - 19:47:26

Two ghosts sit at a bar, each with their own drink. The only sign of their existence is that the volume in their glasses gradually gets smaller and smaller.

The first ghost speaks:

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