Belvedere Jehosophat - Sunday, March 30, 2003 - 19:23:47
It seems that people will go to any number of crazy lengths to rip off the system and earn a few extra clams. This is especially true in the case of one Andrew Carlssin who, as his defense to accusations of insider trading, has claimed that he is in fact a time-traveler from the year 2256.
The Wall Street watchdogs’ suspicion was, perhaps justifiably, aroused when Carlssin turned an initial $800 dollar investment into $350 million. Carlssin, however, claimed that he had traveled back over 200 years to take advantage of what, if you believe his story, will be one of the worst stock plunges in history.
Read the rest of Time Travel Is Lonely
Jimmy Weasel - Saturday, March 29, 2003 - 02:27:47
Wednesday Morning: The second day of protesting against the Orange Mobile Tower in a park next to Oatley West school drew a crowd of media; even The Wax found representation.
The guts of this story are simple: local communities are not convinced that the tower is safe, nor dies it mesh well with the heritage of the park. Located 300 metres from the school, signals from such towers are alleged (by a man wearing a cardboard phonebook around his neck) to be at their most dengerous at 280 metres; cause for sounding the alarm.
Read the rest of Tilting at phonetowers
Ethan Switch - Friday, March 28, 2003 - 04:13:13
On a good day the news is quick and quirky. But there hasn't been a good day for news in the past week, more even. In the worst case scenario—as has become evident—it lasts hours on end, repeats endlessly rewording the slightest of prepulp information and contains the hard work of graphic designers and logo manipulators. Glory be had for those being had are the populace denied the normal course of entertainment that fulfills their dreary and meaningless lives.
Not content to commercialize the events into coffee mug catchphrases such as TARGET:IRAQ™, AT WAR WITH IRAQ™ and THE PRESIDENT'S BITCH™, the movement of the coalition troops are represented by models and graphics that would make hard core gamers of real-time strategy cringe. Indeed, the least that they have done is make the war more palatable for the breakfast, lunch and dinner time troughs. The casualties of war should not go to waste, such games as Resident Evil can never know enough realism.
Read the rest of Iraq the Party That Rocks the Body
Belvedere Jehosophat - Monday, March 24, 2003 - 15:52:16
The trouble with war (aside from the death, destruction and its inherent senselessness) is that there are always innocent parties who suffer needlessly.
I realise that war, unlike long division when there is no remainder, can often be a messy affair. I also realise that during the course of a war mistakes are going to be made. I refer specifically the accidental shooting down of a Royal Air Force plane by a US Patriot missile.
Read the rest of Vicious Mindless Violence That Offers Nothing New
Jimmy Weasel - Sunday, March 23, 2003 - 00:36:09
Election Day, 2003. Political parties have been scraping together teams to distribute propaganda outside the Voting Shacks all over the state in an effort to destroy more trees than the next party. Compare the pain of a swarm to 7 telemarketers all calling the same number one after the other; each talking louder and faster than the previous.
Amidst all the chaos, political ballyhoo and fundraising barbeques arises one mystery: Who Is Party "L"?
Read the rest of Parasites of the Polling Sites
Ethan Switch - Thursday, March 20, 2003 - 10:40:28
There is a certain certainty to the allure of restricted access. The adrenalin that races through the system when on the inside of such a barriered section makes for hectic pacing and fun. So when a local council noticed the downturn—rather the apparent lack of use—of one of their made-for playgrounds they chose to do what seemed the most logical thing to do. Erect a green fencing of authority and exclusion in an attempt to bring back the fold.
Of course, the metal bars may be an attempt to bring the wonder and excitement of the caged matches of wrestling into the playgrounds. What better way to deal with bullies of the local schools then to have them placed in a cordoned off plot of grass, sand and swings?
Read the rest of Dirt Cleans Off Better Than Blood
Jimmy Weasel - Monday, March 17, 2003 - 15:29:19
The music industry (names withheld for no real reason(ignorance suspected)) has expressed negativity and harsh vibes about new recording systems that allow up to 100 hours of music on a single disc.
The launches come as the global music industry suffers its worst downturn since the CD format was introduced. Free online downloading and disc copying have been widely blamed for the slump in sales.(New Scientist)
Read the rest of Music Magnates Mourn Minidisc Monstrosity
Ethan Switch - Sunday, March 16, 2003 - 10:42:14
Lateral thinkers are being lured in the lead up to the NSW State Elections. In a broadcast advertisement, the Greens have all but eluded to the widely held belief that a vote for any other party than the two major stalwarts—Labor or Liberal—is a wasted vote. So it would seem as though they have taken this policy of theirs to the streets and campaigned in the style most befitting of those of a rampantly curious nature.
While other parties may line up in front of the human traffic of the masses moving about their day, they have chosen to employ a sidelining tactic. Instead of the usual blockage and "in your face" stance used by other parties, the Greens of Liverpool have set up a booth underneath shade and in a corner set deep within a building block. They seem to be content in the knowledge that confronting the electorate will do them no good. Reception would be most unkind.
Read the rest of Still Waters Drown Sheep
Ethan Switch - Friday, March 14, 2003 - 10:22:55
The paradox and fluctuation of the entity known as time is a most confusing behemoth to comprehend and understand at the best of times. After seeing the lines taken in it becomes nigh impossible.
In the first, a train arriving late still had passengers attempt to wedge themselves in between the doors just as they closed. The guard commented as such: "This train is running five minutes late. Which means you would have had five extra minutes to work out whether or not this was your train." Which should make those watching the body lain on the tracks—sliced awkwardly in two—aware and appreciative of the fact that the new timetables still have not been printed, nor likely to.
Read the rest of Pizza Boxes With Enough Cheese For Thee
Ethan Switch - Tuesday, March 11, 2003 - 07:04:01
Vigilantes have been alerted to be on the lookout for a beaten up light brown/tan car. Make and model, possibly that of a Toyota Corolla, bearing a license plate ending in ---723. The car is reported to be that of a shady nature with the occupant within even more so. The driver is considered armed and possibly legless. Caution is advised when taking a bat to the driver's head.
The vehicle was last seen on Saturday, March 8, 2003, speeding Westward, after ploughing the kerbside shrub outside the headquarters of The Wax Conspiracy. Workers in the office watched in stunned awe as the car rose up from the side of the gutter directly with the shrub in its path. The vehicle then stalled and was temporarily bogged in the dirt with the shrub uprooted and under the front bumper. The driver momentarily removed himself from the car only to inspect on his predicament. Seconds later the vehicle was free and burning rubber up the quiet street.
Read the rest of Attack at The Wax
Ethan Switch - Thursday, March 6, 2003 - 07:19:46
Confusion is being used to round up bigger numbers in support of a religious outfit known as the Jesus Christians. With all that the centuries have brought upon the world known as Earth, many are looking for something or someone for guidance through their lives. Dispensing interpretations of Luke 17:20 - 18:8 and Luke 21:1-36 the 8 page comic seeks to create a heightened state of confusion in the reader. The passerby is kindly given a copy—money need not exchange hands—to which they can take and read at home or on the way to.
The comics themselves employ a variety of mechanisms used in the stunning of their targeted audience.
Read the rest of Confusion Reigns The Return of The End
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