Ancient apercus from January 2003

Toast the Host for Burning Down the House

Ethan Switch - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 09:11:27

Queensland. Possibly named after transvestites fleeing from the South-Eastern states, proves a hard region to understand. While the rest of Australia may adjust the times of their clocks accordingly in accordance to the accordant daylight savings periods, it resists and shows no movement of its hands.

On the celebratory celebrations of Invasion Day 2003, Brisbane chose to play with fire and launch fireworks while Melbourne and Sydney respected the burning bush and opted to forego the civilian's re-enactment of a bombed Middle-Eastern night time country sky.

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miss seafood, miss cheesecake, a couple of miss donuts

Belvedere Jehosophat - Wednesday, January 22, 2003 - 16:52:14

Hi,

This isn’t going to be a news item; I just thought it would be grand if I mocked someone who, by sheer coincidence, wasn’t me.

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Lorry Driving's Fun

Belvedere Jehosophat - Friday, January 17, 2003 - 17:55:50

It seems that a Raymond George Morgan has been banned for driving until the year 3001 for a “horrendous” driving record. This record includes, but is not limited to, driving an unregistered vehicle, driving while disqualified (apparently there are 30 such counts against Mr. Morgan) and driving with no windscreen or breaks.

In fact, the only reason that Raymond George Morgan was pulled over this last time by the police was that he had no tail-lights. That and they suspected that he was a Mufti. It was then that they realised that Raymond George Morgan was not legally allowed to drive until 2999. After his arrest, the judge sentenced Raymond George Morgan to a further six months in jail (he has already served 18) and added two more years to his driving ban.

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Just Another Beautiful Story

Belvedere Jehosophat - Saturday, January 11, 2003 - 16:58:07

I have become convinced that the editors of The Daily Telegraph are either completely insane or are playing an elaborate joke on us.

As it stands, Australia is, right or wrong, at the brink of following the USA into a war.

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Guns For These Ones But Not For Those Ones

Ethan Switch - Friday, January 3, 2003 - 17:10:36

Showing no fear, the Australian government continues on with what appears to be another media based attack on Muslims in Australia. The ad campaign, Let's Look Out For Australia—which was recently launched as part of a way to increase government spending on things no one really needs—puts out the message to the citizens of the island continent to remain calm and rational in these wild times of overhead explosions and lethal confetti.

One part in the whole message is that Australians should respect the religions of others. The only religion actually represented in the television commercial is that of the Muslims. No Hindus, Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Catholics, Scientologists or Satanists are seen.

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