Jimmy Weasel - Wednesday, October 30, 2002 - 07:20:49
According to New Scientist, the mysterious gas allegedly used to put the smackdown on Chechens & theatre-goers alike is all part of some secret global "non-lethal" crowd control device. Unfortunately this gas can't distinguish between those who are armed, and those who are not.
But how else to control 50 crazed terrorists using plastic explosive as underwear? No other way I suppose.
Read the rest of Are you gassy? Is it gas?
Belvedere Jehosophat - Saturday, October 26, 2002 - 14:26:55
I don’t listen to a lot of radio these days. For the most part the music that gets played is abysmal. Not only that, they tend to play the same goddamn song over and over again. If I hear ‘The Zephyr Song’ by the Red Hot Chili Peppers again I am going to prolapse myself using nothing more than a street sign and savage intent.
The only time that radio gets a turn is when I am changing CDs. This means that the radio has roughly 5-10 seconds to impress me.
Read the rest of Shed A Tear For Contemplated Suicide
Ethan Switch - Friday, October 25, 2002 - 08:41:46
Advertising in any form strikes to grab the attention of the most easily amused, shocked or just plain bored with their money. The world of the coke sniffing suits with an intravenous of caffeine exist due to this very fact of humanity.
A recent tvc depicted a lab scene wherein a helmet is rammed repeatedly into the ground at full force. The advertisement does this for a few more shots and then enlightens the consumer of the fact that their helmets, Rosebank in this case, are tested for their safety and made to stringent guidelines. Helmets are good for one crash only. After that they should be replaced.
Read the rest of Cherish the Lobotomized ... Cranial Collapse Causes Commercials
Ethan Switch - Friday, October 25, 2002 - 00:38:51
Today is not Halloween. It is not a day in which the Americans get to run headlong into suspicious houses of strangers dolling out candy from who knows where or from when. But according to Pastor Ric Benson of Talking Point, it is. Last night proved to be the show's weak point in a string of soft spots.
There is no doubt that many of the shows which go to air are taped days or even weeks before hand. In most circumstances this doesn't matter as it is rarely timebased news coming from the screen. In the incident last night it showed that someone in charge of lining up the tapes for the network forgot about their job and released one of the tapes a week early.
Read the rest of The Drugs Work Fine, But Hold Off On Driving For Now
Jimmy Weasel - Wednesday, October 23, 2002 - 01:59:23
As most people should be aware by now, the news is indeed stupid. Not that the everyday passing of humans and their events is to be mocked or scoffed at, it's the delivery of said events that leaves my jaw agape and my brain begging for mercy. There is no meat in Journalism's hamburger; it's all grease and clever marketing.
I draw your attention to an article posted by the Washington Post about a shooting at Monash University. The first two paragraphs have the facts; the rest of the article is a mishmash of gibberish and irrelevance.
Read the rest of The News is Stupid
Belvedere Jehosophat - Saturday, October 19, 2002 - 02:49:04
Just a quick congratulations to the editors of The Daily Telegraph for best use of a blatant lie.
On the front page of the October 18, 2002 issue, under the picture of some mourners and an unidentified Australian politician, there are the words ‘Death toll climbs to 119’.
Read the rest of Breakfast Where The News Is Read or "Carbine Bullets Could Settle The Score"
Ethan Switch - Friday, October 18, 2002 - 00:24:12
When the anniversary of 9-11 made its way triumphantly in 2002 the press media were keen to roll out collectable series of images gracing the covers. Each day the splash would feature a new old angle on the event of 2001.
Some are now saying that instead of this being "Australia's 9-11" it is more likely a ploy by the print media to capitalise on the fever pitch generated by the recent auction of Nicholas Cage's comic collection. Other camps are suggesting that perhaps this "Terror in Bali" is nothing more than George W. Bush's attempt to quieten midget minister Howard of Australia's attempt to weasle into the beef market so comfortably subsidised by the American Hand Puppet.
Read the rest of Bush Bombs Bali Baying Beef Bar
Belvedere Jehosophat - Thursday, October 17, 2002 - 11:44:05
I was watching an interview with The Vines. They mentioned how they got together and how they were surprised at all the attention they were getting or some such shit. I don’t know; I hate The Vines.
One thing they did mention was that they had met each other at the McDonalds where they worked. It was said in a most triumphant voice; it reeked of ‘we used to work at McDonalds and now look at us’.
Read the rest of Pray It's Not The Evil Fake
Jimmy Weasel - Monday, October 14, 2002 - 20:21:23
Today should be marked down as the First day of the Over-Analysis of the Bali Terror. The Media has drooled once again in a most Pavlovian way to the ringing of tragic bells; but at least they've stopped talking about the yachts of the wealthy.
Our days are indeed dark, yet not so dark as the Media would have us all believe; nothing sells papers like Suffering, and the Media has a way of saying much without really saying anything at all.
Read the rest of Days of the Tragic
Belvedere Jehosophat - Saturday, October 12, 2002 - 18:39:33
It’s not very often that I find pop/rock bands that I like. Even rarer is finding a pop/rock band that I like enough to justify the purchase of a CD.
For the most part I enjoy these bands live. However, much like jazz and funk, I really have no interest in indulging in these bands at home.
Read the rest of Not News, An Advertisement: Eat It Up And Rock Into It
Ethan Switch - Friday, October 11, 2002 - 09:13:41
On the usual escapade in casing out profoundly "hip" stores—one such being that of General Pants Co.—street press were found to be a satisfactory distraction. In one such publication—STU to be exact—the now ubiquitous date of September 11 was used as a filler for the editorial. There was much irrelavance in the piece and not the writer was not afraid of shying away from the fact, albeit somewhat covertly. 911 continues to give many dogged by writer's block a chance to write what doesn't need to be written or something that no one really could be bothered reading.
Read the rest of 911 Breeds Complacency
Ethan Switch - Friday, October 11, 2002 - 07:56:47
One of the most beloved confectionary items around the world would have to be the dulcet dark chocolate make up of the Tim Tam. A biscuit that is supposedly available only on the shores of Australia. The island continent is also known to have tried to implement a 'White Australia' policy.
There is now a White Tim Tam out on the shelves. The White Tim Tam is far inferior to its Dark sibling, it is creamier and sickly sweet, close to sacchrine—which just happens to be coal—and fails to justify being labelled as a Tim Tam. It is joined in the White over Dark ranks with such absurd retardations as the Big Kit Kat finger and the newly released White Wagon Wheel.
Read the rest of White Cream Supreme
Ethan Switch - Sunday, October 6, 2002 - 15:12:12
It would seem that the asserted "high calibre" writing staff at ACP are not beyond the gutteral act of stealing ideas in the face of a deadline. Latest case in point lies on page 27 of issue 40 for 2002 of one of their publications known as Woman's Day. The so-called article, "Stars on the Stock Exchange," covers one and a half pages and reads like the written work of a uni student in a questionable issue of a student magazine, Cogito.
Both pieces spread the word—albeit some many, many months well after its launch—about an ingenious marketing/mailing list tool registered as the Hollywood Stock Exchange. Both samples read hurriedly and without the benefit of an editor's read through. The first and last paragraphs of each read in near identical style and apart from the lengthy repetition employed in the paid version, hard to distinguish.
Read the rest of Shares on a Deadline
Belvedere Jehosophat - Saturday, October 5, 2002 - 06:59:22
In an almost Apocalypse Nowian turn of events, the directors of Channel Ten have decided that during the school holidays, it would be best if Jerry Springer were taken off the air. This happens every school holiday, so it is not a one-off thing.
It seems that Springer might be a little too much for the legions of innocent school kids reared on television.
Read the rest of into my lies / let's burn 'em out now
Finagle with our bagel and keep a fresh and up-to-date eyeball on our latest reviews, articles and filthy somesuch. Mmm doughy.
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