Dying to Bank on the Outcome

Ethan Switch - Friday, June 27, 2003 - 15:01:17 - print it raw

Every once in a while the banks send out to a selected thousand handful of customers, letters of benefits that they are eligible for for having stuck with the same institution given a certain number of years.

One such deal is the prospect of relatively cheap life or accidental death insurance. For just a few dollars a week—amassed into a few hundred a year—the lucky winners will be able to sign up for themselves a payout in the event that they are taken from this mortal coil in an untimely manner.

Outlined in the initial correspondence is the fact that the customer need not to pass any health checks in order to qualify for the wager on their life. In the event that the customer does die, their next of kin—or benefactor—can expect to collect on their passing. The letter is absent of any real fine print; suicides and murders perpetrated by the intended recipient of the payout automatically void the contract.

To clinch the deal the letter mentions that the offer is free for the first month of cover, which if given the right balances and players in the game, could net a dead man's purse through an elaborately planned suicide made to look like a murder. Or, if the "victim" is unwilling, an executed murder rigged to look like an accidental death. After all, the first month is free and only after that will the bank start debiting like they've debited before. But with death in mind.

On that note...

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