Another Homo for the history books

Ethan Switch - Thursday, 28 October, 2004 - 18:17:01 - print it raw

Found dead as a meatless skull with skeleton fragments from six others, a young female is discovered in the Liang Bua limestone caves of Flores Island on the eastern tip of Java, Indonesia. Palaeoanthropological cups of 50 years—made from delicate china adorned with fine artwork—are thrown in the air as coffee is spat out, eyes bulge and jaws drop in massive unison.

Shattering blows to the conventional wisdom of the Homo sapiens having rule and reign of the world in isolation, a new species of Homo—one dubbed Homo floresiensis—is the discovery.

Motionless, and long since dead, the young woman designated LB1 is given the nickname of "Ebu." Geographic concrete is thrown for a spin as the team leader of the discovery is from the University of New England in Australia, the site located in Indonesia and comments spill in from the UK and US.

Following the trend of more homosexual acceptance in the current state of times—outside closeted churches and institutions with electrodes attached to scrotums—the discovery is a retcon of the past to reflect the more widespread visionary backed future of Homos roaming the lands of history.

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Speaking of:

• evolution,
• indonesia,
• homosexuality