The Wax Conspiracy

Accident Prone Man Finds Self in Drain

Ethan Switch - Wednesday, July 16, 2003 - 13:01:55 - print it raw

Richard Carter continues to count himself a lucky man after falling through a grate earlier today. The incident occurred shortly around noon as he was making his way home after a half morning of commitments and paperwork. Taking the same route homeward he has for the past year or so, Richard was stunned to note the sudden rise of the horizon as he took a step with his right foot. "All of a sudden the trees up ahead just shot straight up."

What actually took place was that as Richard walked around the back of a hotel/bar he put his foot on the corner of a grate. "I've never fallen through it before" he muttered in reflective shock. The difference this time as opposed to the many hundreds of times he's taken to the grate was that a corner of the underlying concrete was missing. While from afar the concave grate looks sturdy enough, and has been for as long as it has been in place, closer inspection would have revealed the jungle like trap for boars and mischievous fireside meats.

It might have looked extremely comical, and at first reaction, Richard thought it was. At least considering he was a few metric centimetres away from being gruesomely slashed by the opposing corner of the grate. At first he thought he might have only suffered an all too real limp, then he lifted his left jean leg to reveal a rather disturbing sight of blood. "At first I was going to faint, but I knew better than to lie motionless in my neighbourhood."

Asked whether or not he was going to persecute the owners of the hotel/bar he said, "I think if I was employed and I was spurting it would have been a solid case, but all I had was a scratch."

On that note...

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